Well Derek our birthdays are slowly creeping up and so is christmas. If there is ever a time of year where i feel sadness day in and day out it is now...
I mean it was hard enough first to learn that you had be taken from us but to have to carry on my own life and go through my daily events without you just doesnt seem fair. Each memorable occation I ever shared with you is so difficult now that you are only there in spirit.
This weekend when I was away with friends I couldnt stop thinking about you. I found this glass angel with a poem next to it. It reads as follows...

HIS SMILE

THOUGH HIS SMILE IS GONE FOREVER,
AND HIS HAND I CAN NOT TOUCH,
I STILL HAVE SO MANY MEMORIES OF THE ONE I LOVED SO MUCH.
HIS MEMORY IS MY KEEPSAKE WITH WHICH ILL NEVER PART.
GOD HAS HIM IN HIS KEEPING, I HAVE HIM IN MY HEART.
SADLY MISSED BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN.

This poem says exactly what i was thinking that whole weekend... i had to fight the tears when i first laid eyes on it in the store.

Derek you know how much you are missed i would give anything just to hold you or touch you or see you one last time. Someone once told me that when we die the only place to go is heaven because we live out our lives in hell. It is hell now that you are gone. I will never "live happily ever after" until the day I see you again.

I LOVE YOU LITTLE BRO ALWAYS XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO