Well little bro it has been 2 long years since you were taken from us.

It is still so hard to believe that you are gone from this ugly world but in the long run I think you are in a much better place. I hate it here... i wish I was with you I need you so much it hurts.

I still can't figure out why you had to leave??? Why is god so mean that he took you from us. Everyone misses you so much.

Mom was at a pyshic recently and they think the you may have been in a confrontation with some other guy who got jealous coz you were talking to his girl... then there was some pushing and you got hit in the back of the neck so hard it knocked the wind outta you??? How will we every know what really happened to you? I have always thought that some thoughtless ******* hurt you and left you... It hurts me so much to think like that and then to think that the human race could be so cruel. If someone did do this to you I dont know how they can wake up every morning and look at themselves in the mirror knowing the pain and suffering that everyone is constantly going through.

I try so hard not to cry for you because I hate it when others see me cry and i hate it when others say i should talk about it... talking about it isnt going to bring you back why cant people just leave me alone? If I over react one day who cares it just means I LOVE you that much.

Derek I dont think ill ever be able to understand why this happened but what I do know is that you truely are my angel in the sky and that one day I will leave this earth now known to me as hell and be with you again.

Mom, Eric, and I recently took a trip to Calgary and stayed at Melissa's house... I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time because it was there 2 years ago when i get a 530am wake up call from you on your way to Saskatoon to come meet you for breakfast. I will never ever forget that day, for it was the last day I was able to be your big sister. I dont know what it was but after I walked away fromuto return to my jeep I got inside and cried and thought to myself how silly is this I am crying because you are moving away and that I was being a baby because I would see you again and now I think it was god's way of telling me that I would never see you again and I am so mad at myself that I didnt go back inside for one more hug or one more of your spirit lifting smiles or even to stop you from going. I so wish i had never let you go that day. I was the last one to see you before you took your adventure... WHY didnt I stop you??? Im so sorry. You should be here now. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS. YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS AND WILL FOREVER LIVE IN MY HEART. LOVE YOUR BIG SISTER