Hey Derek, I just wanted to say that i have been thinking about you so much more these past few days and couldn't really figure out why this sudden burst of memories then i looked at the date... July 8th is tomorrow... 3 years ago on that date I met you in Calgary for a VERY early breakfast before you jumped onto the bus and headed for saskatoon. July 8th 2002 was the last day i saw you alive, the last time we hugged, the last time we smiled at each other, the last time i saw my little brother. It hurts so bad to know that i was so close to you that day i should have stopped you from going, maybe then none of this would have happened. I dont know what to do with out you. It is so hard. I havent even been on your website here in months... i feel so bad. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. Please send me a sign that everything is going to be ok... I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER. See you on the other side... your big sister Steph.
It is so hard to believe it was 3 years ago today that I LAST SAW YOU !!! Your Bear Hug you gave me as you lifted me up off the floor in the kitchen.
I had to go to work so Richard took you to the Greyhound Bus Depot for your adventure to Saskatoon. IF, I had only known..... I would never have let you go!!!
I so long to hold you in my arms, to touch you, see you and smell you.
I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH as does Stephanie !!!
I remember too on July 9th You calling me at home at 4:30 am to get Stephanie's phone number in Calgary.
It was so KEWL that you called and called Steph to meet for breakfast. If she only knew too.. she would never have let you go.. SHE MISSES YOU SO MUCH ~DEREK~
She doesn't say much to me nor I to her.. but we both know the pain we feel so deep inside.
I wish we could go back in time and rewrite these past 3 years, only with you still here. Life just isn't FAIR in fact it SUCKS BIG TIME without you here. The so very deepset pain we feel inside. The things that remind us of YOU and believe me there are many !!!! No day goes by that we don't think of YOU ~DEREK~. We long to see you... until we meet again my son - I LOVE YOU ALWAYS & FOREVER !!!
You live in my HEART !!!
((((((HUGS))))))
Mom xoxo
