On the evening of June 9th, I began to let my fears overcome me and I began to doubt our original choice of making Kyle endure these treatments instead of taking him home and making him comfortable until he went to be with Jesus. I felt really selfish.

As we move closer to transplant, thoughts of mortality rates, all of the things Kyle will be robbed of in the future, and of course the suffering had overcome me and I couldn't move past the pain that came from thinking if we lose him anyway, maybe it should have been at home happy instead of the hospital suffering.
I couldn't bare it anymore. I knew this was Satan working in my thoughts, skillfully chipping away at my faith, but I was scared and confused none the less.

My first thought was to turn to my husband for spiritual guidance, but I already knew his answer “Trust God Katrina, Kyle is going to be just fine, God is healing him, have faith my love”. Though it's what I needed to hear, his strength and faith was not what I wanted to hear in my time of doubt and self pity, I wanted sympathy, so naturally, I called my mom :)

I poured out my heart to her and in return I received the same response as I would have gotten from Jerry, so I gave up and asked her to pray with me.

I got down on my knees in the parking garage as she prayed that God would quiet my heart, remove my fears, and fill my heart with peace, and strength. She closed asking that God would show me in his own way a reassurance that He was still here by my side. She asked this be shown in light, or a sign, however He speaks to my heart to show Himself, so I would know and feel His presence beside me again...in Jesus name, Amen

I hung up the phone and went back to Kyle's room where I had left him sleeping. My sweet angel, so peaceful in the gray of the night, so strong and sweet as his body lay battling even in his sleep. I kissed him and thanked God for yet another day and then I got down into my bed on the floor next to my husband and drifted into an emotional sleep.

In the morning I awoke early and shortly after Kyle's Dr slipped in quietly and motioned me out into the hall.

I stood there in awe as she proceeded to explain that Kyle’s cancer was gone….. the more intense bone marrow analyzing test she had sent out to Seattle on Tues, came back that his cancer is not showing up in his marrow anymore!!!

I listened as she went on to explain that she had consulted her colleagues and not one could agree on a recommendation...(sounds like a perfect example of baffled to me!). So, she wants to meet with Jerry and I in the next week or two to make some serious decisions.

I stood bewildered for a moment wondering what this all meant and then it came to me, so I asked and...

YES, THEY ARE RECONSIDERING WHETHER OR NOT KYLE WILL NEED A BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before she left, she also shared with me that in a meeting yesterday with the Bone Marrow Transplant Dr’s and the Typing Lab, she was informed that the cord blood match they had planned on going forward with for Kyle, carried a mortality rate of 60%! Something she was unaware of, so with this news she had gotten cold feet about moving forward and was in a quandary when those test results came in!!!!

So it seems that at this point, the transplant has become more risky to Kyle than just the chemo alone! And it means that no matter what happens, we’ve also bought more time to find Kyle a donor match, if needed!

She and the panel of specialists across the country will be hashing out formulas and pouring over clinical trials as they ponder and analyze Kyle’s newest results with his transplant date looming. And we will be praying for them to see God's awesome power through our Kyle; as well as for Kyle’s life saving donor to be revealed, if needed, in His perfect timing.

God again patiently revealed himself to me, not with a quiet presence, but with a resounding trumpet, just as I needed to hear Him!!!! Praise God! Halleluiah from the roof tops!!!!! His healing in Kyle's life continues and though the Dr's are scratching their heads, we know what is happening!

Our hearts are overflowing with joy and gratefulness, tears of joy overcome us and we praise our loving Heavenly Father for His grace and mercy once again. He is not only holding precious Kyle as he fights, but is also, so lovingly holding my hand.

We love you and thank you for sharing this journey with us. I will keep you posted on Kyle’s progress and as decisions are made.

We are planning to go home mid week for as long as possible and we are also planning on taking Kyle camping, so I probably wont update while we’re at home (unless there is news and then I promise I will).

Watch Kyle’s calendar for our return and don’t forget to watch for pictures!

There's just one more thing....God is performing huge miracles for Kyle because Kyle has huge battles, but I want you to know that It's never too late to open your heart up to see what miracles God has in store for your life too, he is waiting for you to stop struggling on your own...He is waiting to carry you, let Him, just let go of the rope you’re hanging yourself with and let God catch you, he will not drop you, I promise.

I will leave you for now with Kyle's own words to you...

"Don't worry, God is healing me"

– Kyle

State: katrina@kylessmile.org

HEY KYLE!
We are very happy to hear of your latest progress.
Johnny had a great time HANGIN with you last week.
SEE YOU SOON!!
LOVE,
Frank, Shelley, Tiff,& John

State: broleen68@yahoo.com

this is such awsome news! all of your faith no doubt has brought you this great news. you all, as you have been everyday, will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

with much love and continued hope and faith to all of you, greg.

Dear Katrina,
What faith you and your mom have...it puts most of us to shame. All of you are in our daily prayers. Praise God for his blessings and praise God for your acceptance of his presences in our lives.
Love and prayers, Aunt Pat

State: budrumble@yahoo.com