From, Taking Notes in Melrose

MHS/MMS PTO Meeting: Stress Management for Teens

Many parents came out this past snowy Monday night to learn more about helping their children and their children’s friends sort out and address responses to stress. The MHZ and MMS PTO’s joint session focused on “Helping Teens Manage Stress and Painful Emotions” in an engaging and compassionate presentation prepared and presented by two of our own high school parents who are also psychologists, Lynda Field, PhD and Lisa Coyne, PhD. Also attending were Supt. Raymore, MHZ Principal Farrell and Asst. Principal Fogarty, MMS Principal Conway, and Asst. Supt. White-Lambright.


Of teens in Gr. 9-12 in the last 12 months: 17% considered suicide (22% of females and 12% of males), 13.6% made a plan (17% of females and 10% of males), and 8% attempted suicide one or more times (11% of females and 5% of males)

Q&A
What is the high school and middle school doing to address this issue? These topics are included in the health and wellness curriculum at MHZ and there are discussions around yoga and mindfulness strategies in this year’s freshman seminar. They hope to share more techniques with staff next year so they can help students employ these strategies before a big test or assignment. The middle school also includes the topics in the health and wellness curriculum. Principal Conway also mentioned that there is a task force of twelve staff members who have met since December to talk about social emotional learning, and they hope to represent some of the results in this coming year’s School Improvement Plans.

This school system and the SC have some serious problems if they think that MHS is addressing this issue by “topics are included in the health and wellness curriculum at MHS and there are discussions around yoga and mindfulness strategies in this year’s freshman seminar.” This is without a doubt one of the most glaring omissions of leadership at a HS that I have ever witnessed. And, how can a SC member publish this as if this solution is the least bit adequate. These people are nuts if they think discussions around yoga and mindfulness strategies in this year’s freshman seminar is a solution. I’m so shocked by this I don’t even have words for it. All that comes to mind is IDIOTS, all of them.

Maybe the retiring AD, Pat Ruggeiro can volunteer to help with all she learned at the San Diego Safe Steps conference. One focus of the trainings was fostering resiliency in teenagers. I'm still amazed that she went to the conference this week when someone who will be actually working with students in the MPS schools next year could (should) have gone. She needs to pay back for taking the place of someone who actually could help MPS students handle stress. Who made the decision to send Ruggerio? Another example of great decision making in our school system!

Page 2 of today's Boston Globe has an interesting report about Suicide. The MPS must prioritize the emotional and social needs of students. Lip service and task forces which might highlight some vague idea in a school improvement plan in the future is not enough, Moving the 5th grade to the Middle School and the 8th grade to the High School goes against research by the American Pedriatic Association and Neuropsychologists cutting edge research. Put the kids first.....for once. The drug use, alcohol use and bullying in our schools system rampant. These issues should be part of a community conversation centered around the OCR reports as well.

Are you serious? Whose idea was it to send our do nothing AD on a warm weather junket a few weeks before she retires? Was this paid for out of grant money?

This is one of the most outrageous things I've heard in years. What decent person, knowing they would be leaving the job in a few weeks, would use resources meant to help kids for their own selfish reasons? As the above poster said, why didn't they send someone who would be working with students in the MPSs? Is every person working in the district so cowardly or morally compromised that they couldn't just come out and tell her not to go?

That speaks volumes about the character of the AD, and how little she cares about the children she is paid to serve.

The Federal Grant $ was jointly given to MAAV and the MPS. Rebecca Mooney, Patricia Wright-Lambert and Pat Ruggerrio went to San Diego.

P W-L is scared of making any waves. She doesn't have time to do her own job because CT is constantly pulling her into cleaning up her messes. Disappointed in Rebecca Mooney, though. She should have insisted that PR not go. Waste of precious grant dollars.

I don't give a crap if it was grant money or not. They still should have sent someone not on their way out of our school district. It only makes sense that they send somebody willing and able to come back full of knowledge and expertise to help our kids.

As a prior poster said, for once, put the kids first!

We've had enough tragedy this year. What's it going to take for this school administration to learn to do the right thing?

So let me get this straight......instead of sending staff who work with students every day , like school psychologists or guidance counselors, we squander grant money sending two administrators who have no direct contact with students, one who has one foot out the door already, retiring in a few weeks, and another who was a recent finalist for a job in another district, so is looking to leave asap.

Doesn't anyone have to approve the use of grant money and the time off for these administrattors? How the hell does something so blatantly cynical happen? Why are we rewarding our outgoing administrators with a free trip , instead of the staff who work in the trenches every day dealing with kids who have these issues, who could use the additional training?

Just when I think nothing can surprise me in the public schools, I hear a story like this, and it just floors me. Is everyone a complete idiot in administration?

How the MAAV board could approve the trio who used the grant money to attend the Safe Steps conference in San Diego makes me wonder. How (Mooney in particular) could go along with posting and promoting the smiling faces of RM, PW-L and PR on the MAAV website undermines the value of MAAV's mission.

And people wonder why many of us complain about the incompetence and arrogance of this school administration! This is one great example! One person on her way out the door and another admin person actively looking to leave the system! Shame on them and shame on Ms. Taymore!

And shame on Rebecca Mooney!

Yes, and further, PW-L is the person who supposedly led the fraudulent "investigation" that resulted in the first OCR findings against the city (with the "expert" guidance of that crack legal team of losers that continue to have the district circling the drain and wracking up huge expenses). PWL has repeatedly failed to get another position (for a number of years now), so Melrose continues to be stuck with her. This will be a repeating story for all the D- bottom-dwellers (and barely qualified rookies no one else wanted) that CT has hired in the last 4 years (along w/ those "winners" JC hired), meanwhile the great ones like Dr. P leave for less pay and crappier jobs just to get away from these monsters. Note: Melrose Schools used to be a place that highly qualified teachers came and stayed, even if the pay was far below average, because it was a good place to work and a supportive community. Now it is a place that good employees won't even consider generally. Look at where some of our recent dept chairs have gone--science and math chairs now in (or going to) the great city of Chelsea! (They haven't moved onto Lexington or Belmont.) All those naive parents who are buying the argument that money is the reason for the district's troubles: Get Real! The rotten fish heads at the top of the city and schools are the reason, period.

Time for a clean sweep, including dumping the alliance w/ RM and her in-the-tank relationship w/ administration, that ultimately does nothing but a lot of posturing and staying in 4-star hotels with the other bunch of frauds leading the district right down the drain. She and her bosom buddies PWL and PR should take a permanent vacation together, along with the rest of the executive "team."

Just out of curiosity, whats the parents role in dealing with teen stress/suicide? On top of dealing with drug and alcohol issues, bullying, cyber bullying and racism, incompetent parents now want to add teen stress and suicide to the schools list of responsibilities? And then you want to beat on non-profits and volunteers also doing your jobs? Kkds go to school to learn how to read, write and do math. The rest of these issues are a parents responsibility. Get your heads out of your @sses and parent your kids.

All of the issues you noted overlap both home and school. Drugs affect school performance. I'll remind you of Kick a Ginger Day for bullying. Racism was found by the federal government in the schools. Students spend more time at school than any other single place. Home and school need to work together on these issues.

"non-profits and volunteers"

No. RM is well paid and part of the cozy political patronage system that keeps this district hostage.

Over the last few years, $500,000 from the feds has produced a few posters, videos and assemblies at the high school. It's produced a few parties for the chosen students and several all expenses paid vacations for Patti and Pat.

You want to make real progress in education - get rid of the unions! You can't get one thing done without first consulting these convoluted union contracts that govern everything. The only thing that unions do - is protect the incompetent. Good teachers don't need protection.

This administration,is the reason unions were formed in the first place[8)]

Ahhh...Waka, Waka, Waka

Ahhh...shutta, uppa, clowna...

If you actually spent any time in the schools, you would know that mental health issues are a growing problem in public education, not just in Melrose, but everywhere. There are staff members who are trying to help students struggling with depression, anxiety, etc. every day. Regardless of what parents do or don't do to support their kids, the issues they bring to school affect their school performance . There are staff members who could have made good use of the training and support provided at this conference, including a few unsung heroes like the HS nurse who is beloved by students for the kindness she shows kids who come to her with these kinds of issues. To use grant money to reward outgoing administrators with a free trip instead of using it to support the staff who are actually working with the kids is a violation of public trust.

PR should have declined the trip, and allowed someone else to go in her place.

Schools were/are suppose to be for the 3R’s. The kid’s problems are the responsibilities of the parents not the taxpayers.

Have a good day[:)]

So what would you have the teachers do when the parents are not meeting the "responsibility" of handling the kids' problems? When kids come to school unable to attend to the three Rs, because there are other issues clouding their mind? What about the research that shows that kids learn better when they believe their teachers care about their well-being? You clearly have no idea what schools are like today, or what teachers HAVE to do for/with many students in order for them to ever even get to effectively teach the 3Rs.
Ignorance is bliss.

Agree 100%
The question is WHY are mental health issues skyrocketing?
WHY are kids so anxious, sad and depressed?
WHY does this community deny the alcohol and drug epidemic?
HOW can the elected officials and school personnel look themselves in the mirror?

Why?

Because the kid who got a trophy for everything he did in life eventually hits the brick wall that is reality; you don't always win, you don't always get a reward, and oh, by the way, we've opened our borders to people from low-trust cultures that bring their children up to compete and win by whatever means necessary, so deal with it.

That these kids are escaping their realities with drugs and alcohol isn't surprising. That they believe they can handle it is nothing new, but one can only hope that the numerous examples to the contrary, The Artist Formerly Know As Alive being the latest, shows them differently.

ARE mental health issues skyrocketing? Or is there more diagnosis or maybe over-diagnosis? More sensitivity and diagnosis of mental health issues is overall a good thing since ignoring them doesn't help anyone. Children who suffer are either going to hurt others or themselves, even if it's only throwing away their potential to be productive & happy citizens. Some of these people might have to come onto future messages boards talking about "opening borders to low trust cultures" whatever that means.
Drugs & alcohol have been part of Melrose teen culture at least since that 70s. Probably before but that's my 1st hand experience.
I'm going to give a few reminders: Bellevue Golf Course, the Common, the Golden Hills, Officer Cahill (or is he Wakefield?) the Rats, the HS smoking area, the Jr High Bathrooms period, USA beer, $25 for a bag, some of you know what I mean.
Heroin though is something else and I don't think anyone has any good answers there. Just that it destroys people & families.

Low trust cultures are defined by excessive control and hovering. Disempowerment happens when too many rules, regulations and suspicions kill creativity, risk taking and individual responsability. In low trust cultures problems are denied and covered up. The fear of imperfection impairs problem solving, self reflection and being able to admit mistakes. Today kids in schools are products of "Low Trust" Parents. Stephen Covey has interesting theories about how "Low Trust Cultures" breed toxicity, anxiety and distrust. Here elected officials, (Mayor, SC and BOA), MPS Administrators and City Hall Departments Heads all promote and perpetuate "Low Trust Cultures". The toxic environment in the Melrose government and school system exemplifies what damage a "Low Trust Culture" can do.

Drug and alcohol problems have always been denied in Melrose. Usage and acceptance of being a "right of passage" has always been our norm. TImes have changed. Heroin is only part of the problem. Melrose is in big trouble with drugs and alcohol not only at MHS but younger teens as well!

So all you whiners’ (MFD etc.) out there stop complaining about the school budget. people on this board seem to think it’s the schools job to take care of peoples nutty offspring and the teenage junkies..


Have a good day
[:)]

!

Last I heard - we had a 3.5 million dollar surplus - doesn't sound that money is the issue!

If you don't care enough to use proper grammar and punctuation I don't care enough to pay any attention to what you post.

Grammar and punctuation are important but they are never as important as the content and meaning of what one is saying!

True. But I think the poster was dismissing the poor grammarian outright. Terms such as nutty offspring and teenage junkies aren't showing respect for families that have youngsters with mental health and addiction issues. You wouldn't wish these conditions on your worst enemy. Their problems have a ripple affect on the community too. I assume the uptick in car break-ins and home invasions are from drug addicts and untreated mental illness costs our society more in the long run if the sufferer can't remain productive. When these children are school age, the school system should play a role as much as it can. If only one child is diverted from suicide, then it's all worth it to me.

Why don't Pat R, P W-L and Mavv's Mooney lead a public discussion on what they contributed and learned on their San Diego junket

Excellent idea! A presentation with spontaneous Q & A. If it was so important for these 3 women to attend at the expense of hands-on contributors, then it is incumbent upon them to share the knowledge. What CKK often said about the SC is accurate here as well. Self-congratulatory culture. Look, look at us. We're at the Safe Steps convention in beautiful San Diego. Doing good for our community. Never mind that people who could actually apply this knowledge daily in their jobs didn't get to go. We did and it was positive, rewarding & fun!

Where are the parents in all this? I thought that parents were responsible for their children’s welfare not the city. Parents are the ones who should take responsibility for their children and get them the help when they need it.
Think of all the money the school system could save it their job was just to educate them not raise them.

But maybe part of this stress is the schools responsibility. I was talking with a friend, whose child was placed in an AP class and is stressed about it. He had tried to get her reassigned, but to no avail. If the school is taking kids and placing them in AP classes to increase their averages, to look good
, then
this is wrong and part of the problem.

Give me a break with all of this non sense. These kids are fine, it's society that has changed. We allow them to be little whiners and brats. I mean think about it, how is this the most "depressed" generation? They're by far the most pampered and spoiled! They get everything they want, never get disciplined, and never get told "no." Time to bring back 1950's society when everything (minus the colored bathrooms) seemed to make sense.

Spot on, best post on here. When parents stop being wimps, this generation will get straightened out.

Looks like everyone on here can agree on one point.

That Mooney, Ruggerio & that inept sped person should not have gone on that trip.

If you think that teens need in-school help, then the actual helpers should have gone.

If you think teens should only receive help from family intervention, then no trip was necessary.

My opinion is if you are going to try to help teens at school, then really try. Send the right folks for training.
If you are not going to attempt to help, be straightforward & not put forth the illusion that you are.
All this other stuff such as the trip is just window dressing to give the appearance that help is offered. But it's only an appearance. Real help takes real work & it's not always pretty.

All of the fundamental social & behavioral issues that the school department deals with have roots firmly implanted at home in the parenting of the child.
Kick a Ginger Day, social media/cyber racism and bullying, bullying, drug and alcohol use, disrespectful students and in many cases lack of adequate preparation for the school day due to a lack of emphasis on homework, good study habits and good sleep habits. 100% the parents responsibility. Its convenient to lay the blame at the administration's feet but any parent who blames someone else for their child's behavior and school performance is setting themselves and their kids up for failure. The biggest differentiator between the kids excelling inside and outside at MHS or any other school, and the kids struggling, is work ethic, attitude, discipline and behavior. All part of a parents core responsibility to their child. If a kid is smoking pot, drinking, all over social media, 24/7 on the cell phone and getting lousy grades...and plenty of them are at MHS...the parents need to look in the mirror. Too many parents in Melrose don't do their job and then b*tch about the system when their kid doesn't want to go to college or get lousy grades, SAT or MCAS scores.

It's not about the students. The students on the whole are good kids. As the OCR knows, we need to be concerned about the continual misbehavior of top administrators, mayor, city solicitor and the SC chair and a very small cadre of teachers. Get off the kids' backs. It's about the misbehavior of the above.