Here's a sad chapter of my life that others have found humorous and it's all regretfully true I am presently looking at an old polaroid of me. My parents took me to Tijuana when I was eleven and all I remember was my mother kept telling me they were going to buy me a pinata! Right after the photo was taken my father disappeared and we didn't see him for like 4 hours and my mother didn't speak to him for probably 6 or 7 days after that. Anyway, in the pic I am on some makeshift buckboard wagon decorated with colored toilet paper carnations and I am wearing a comically oversize sombrero that stabbed my head with its hay-like interior and I am pretending to be smoking a hilariously oversized cigar! I think I am even holding a half full bottle of tequila. A malodorous donkey covered with open sores brayed or rather, wheezed was hitched to the wagon abusively. Anyway, we did get the pinata and I then realized it wasn't the small dog breed I was expecting but rather a paper mache burro. They strung it up to the tree in our front yard and made me hit it with a whiffle bat when we got home. Oh and yes, as tradition dictated, I was blindfolded. After about 25 minutes my father took the blindfold off and screamed, "Try it now for Cripes Sake!" So WHAM! It split open! My mother grabbed her cheeks and screamed, "CANDY! CANDY!" But instead of candy, as I inspected the strewn contents I noticed mostly used crayons, a couple of used Bic Lighters, several firecrackers ( sans wicks ) and about a dozen corroded 9 Volt Batteries.