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Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

Trev, it is better to celebrate the life of a living person. The dead will forever care less what was done with his/her body. They don't even know who's attending their funerals. It useless, whether the dead person was rich or poor, to spend lots of money for a coffin, clothes, "Happy Hour", and to the funeral parlors. The money will always be better spent on the deceased, but while he/she was alive. Most folks don't give much to their loved ones while they're alive. However, a lump sum is paid to the funeral parlors, just to keep the dead person above earth for days, or weeks, before they are laid to rest. Some people even ended up owing the funeral parlors, and have to struggle to make payment, by monthly installments, for crediting a coffin among other things from the funeral parlors. How about helping out the poor and needy instead of giving more money to the funeral parlors, who are so often deemed rich?

The LaQua family in Grenada came to my mind. They dominated the burying of the dead, while others like Mr. Forsyth, in Victoria, St. Mark's, and our very own, Mr. Bill, in Gouyave faded away quietly, from the pack.

I know that people often see things their way, and nothing's wrong with that. Still, though, when someone is dead, I cannot see the celebrating of it. It was now between the Maker of All Mankind, and the dead person themself. We've yet to understand that nothing we do or say can cause God, nor the deceased person to change their minds. However, I see a party held after a person is dead means zero for that person,.while on the road to the 'Great Beyond'.

Let's not forget that life is living, and so is death.

My take only!

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

you made some good points brother Daniel.
Remember however that
The Funeral etc is a cultural thing and there are variations in the practice.
In some areas of Africa it is even a bigger thing and that has been their tradition for centuries.
It is a final " farewell" and although some people take advantage of it ( what's new?), it can be somewhat therapeutic for the family- i.e, meeting friends, lost friends, families, interacting, ' boy long time since I saw you' etc and engaging in a memory lane conversation can be therapeutic.

Of course, like anything else in life, it can be abused.

It is for the living and when people get together you smell food.
Do you remember when people used to say that someone was buried like a pauper? And they used to cry shame- eh he.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

I completely agreed with Daniel's take on things. I always say to my family show me love while I am alive not when I have left this world as I am unable to feel and appreciate it. For me those left behind can buy the cheapest coffin, why waste money on expensive caskets? I'm dead I can't enjoy or like it.
On the other hand I am not against family gathering after a funeral as someone else said to talk and ease the grieving. It's just the group of people who use funerals as free and enjoyable day out.

My Mother is always telling me and my siblings 'No happy hour for me' lol. As my Father would say ' We is not them type a people, people come from far you must give them a drink and sandwich' lol.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

to some extent, the events of the family are for the living not the dead.
We can choose to eat in Calabash for example- does it make a difference; what matters is the nutrient from the food. So let's replace our china etc and fancy plates with calabashes.
I do not consider myself "old" but thank God, I have been on the planet earth for a couple of decades and it is cultural common practice to treat your guest with something to eat or drink for example.
Now if the "quest" keep on coming by some strange coincidence around time for breakfast, lunch and dinner that's going to " raise a red flag".
But then again, there are some people who are truly dependent or needy from that standpoint.
On the otherhand, there will be people who are there just for the food just based on greed and as my grandparents would have said " they are too glutenous".
Here is a solution:

when we give out the program in the church we should also give a coupon for the happy hour.
But be prepared, as words spread, we will need bigger churches as more people may come to the church with the sole purpose of getting the coupon for the food.
I hear some of them bawl so much as if they knew or is related to the deceased. More bawl more food!They are some actors.
They should be in Hollywood.
I heard that in Grenada churches are springing up all over the place where people are joining with the intention of getting hand outs from the big brother/sister sponsors in the USA. Go figure. LOL.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

lol lol Giving a coupon! That really made me laugh, but at least it's an idea.
I have heard of a few families doing invitation only funeral receptions. What my family have done when having funerals in Grenada is to have snacks and some food also a couple of bottles of alcohol with plenty homemade juice, when it's done that's it.

I do feel there is no point in putting yourself in debt to look good in the eyes of others.

To the people to are under dressing take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself is this outfit suitable?

To the greedy people stop and think should you really be treating a funeral as an all you can eat restaurant.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

Merle, you started a very interesting thread! Some of the responses were thought provoking while others were very funny. And our new pastor from the "new-age" church chose to preach! lolol

Some of the outfits I see are indeed a bit non-conforming to the usually acceptable funeral outfit, but times have changed, after all. In days "gone by" even back in my youth, as little skin as possible used to be shown for ANY occasion - then came the mini skirts, then even the tank tops etc. for any event, and much appreciated. lol Of course, one can put a light jacket or even what is called a "shell" over a tank top or strappy dress and make it less revealing and still suitable for the occasion but some do not take that extra step.

We must remember not to be too harsh though. Render your hearts and not your garments can go both ways. What if people have only what is sent from abroad by relatives who give no thought to proper funeral attire as a "send down." Then people just wear what they have! Would we rather people stay home and not come to pay respect or support the bereaved - to me there is nothing as sad as an empty church when someone dies.

I have a feeling that there are not too many dressmakers around anymore - we had Mrs. St. John, Ms. Leslyn, Ms. Vernice, Mrs. Walma, Tr. Nouna, among others and I do not know if they have been replaced. Our Grenadian ladies may now have to rely on what is brought in for sale or sent down to them. Quite frankly, I don't think much of fashion designers nowadays as we are simply left to their mercies.

Someone suggested that the priests are turning a blind eye - but how can he, whoever he may be, discriminate against people who are not modestly dressed. Does he then police the door with a measuring tape for skirt hems and give each lady the look see to check on if their bosoms are covered? More trouble now. And what if the bereaved are scantily dressed? lol

There is the matter of perception. One might think that they look great in an outfit even if to another it is just "not on" either as a fit or for the occasion. Also, in a place that does not have much by way of social events for dressing up, when people do go out even if is to a funeral they want to look good and if they feel they look good (whether they do or not from another's perspective) they feel good about themselves. Let us not deny people that feeling.

Maybe your post will be an eye opener for the future. To help things out I now call on my dear friend Don to start a special funeral service line of clothing in her store - both modest and modern. :-)

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

Sister AM, I read and understand your opinion. Did you read my dear CUZ version of the heart and the garment? LOL. Girl, these people know about dressing. You will be surprised to know that Grenada has a lot of functions where gouyave people dress up. Its not like the days when we had to wait for a holiday or harvest to wear our Dan Dan to go to the dance or ALLDAY in the park. There are little stores like Dawn and others where they can buy clothes from overseas. I don't think that seamstress and Tailor exist no more. I may be wrong. If so, they may be used for adjustments. Many of these young ladies are dressing and hoping that Arthur comes by with the camera so they can be Gouyave models. LOL.. I also read about the food situation. If the families can afford to feed every one on behalf of the dead so be it. My only objection is not everyone can afford to feed people after the funeral. I, personally listen to people talking in gouyave. I spent 21 days. I attended three funerals. Before the funeral took place everyone knew who was having (after hours). Some people may not like my opinion. It's freedom of speech. Every does not like Obama, but he is the PRESIDENT. Girl, you know I love to get in trouble. Don't be hard on me. LOL.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

Have you been listening to Grenada news ( GBN, etc) recently? Some tough economic restructuring.
Finally reality is beginning to trickle in- it's about time.
" clothes from overseas".
Probably few if any seamstresses in Grenada.
And we say the employment rate is high there.
So much for self sufficiency- oops, did I say that?
Australia priority is Asia; Europe priority is now Eastern Europe/ Ukraine.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

So Merlo, how many of the three happy hours did you attend? lol

But seriously, it is only recently I hear that this happy hour is creating a "problem." I myself hate the term happy hour. Here it is when people get discounted services or goods so maybe people should pay and this is where the suggested coupon would come in handy? teehee In New York it is called a repast but one does not have to attend all repasts and surely you do not have to eat or drink or have too much of anything. People sometimes get offended if you say you do not have time to stay or to eat. I see it as a way to see members of the bereaved family that you may not have seen in ages but for the most part I myself usually have to run off to do something or other anyway .

From a conversation I had with someone who had just buried her mother, I gathered that the more one can deliver at the happy hour the more of a status symbol one can become so I guess it goes both ways?? lol One person I know told me that she was unable to attend a certain funeral as she had been working all day and got home much too late. I told her to go and sympathize but she said that would have to wait for another day because she did not want people to say she had come for happy hour.

Re: FUNERAL OUTFITS IN GOUYAVE

Merle, I appreciate your concern, but this is not limited to Gouyave but everywhere. Certainly in NYC. Thing is the Gen X generation is driven by style and fashion, and those young ladies you are castigating might simply be wearing the only little black dress they have, which is fashionable, dress up garb, or they may be wearing their Sunday Best, which is what they go to church in every Sunday.
Either way is a funeral the place or time to be checking out the apparel of the fellow mourners?
Do we prefer that those young sexy things come as they like, or don't come at all? Any thought about what the deceased would prefer, IF ONLY THEY COULD.