The "TM" came along with the 'cut & paste'. I was surprised that it did.
Does this remind you of anyone?
DUE DATE NEXT WEEK FOR DOG-THEMED LIMERICK CONTEST
Melrose Free Press - Updated at 1:25 PM
The Melrose Dog Society has introduced a new limerick contest as an all-ages community activity, and as a way to raise money for the group’s efforts....
Prizes: First place is a $50 gift card, second place is $25 gift card, and third place is a book of dog poetry.
There once was a dog named Buffoon
Tried to fart his way to the moon.
But he flopped as a rocket,
Took a dump in my pocket,
And died in a rectal typhoon.
There once was a dog named Uriah,
Whose owner was often a liar.
He would always deny
That his dog left that 'pie'
And his pants would then catch on fire.
I knew a young dog on Nantucket
Who shat every day in a bucket.
Then his old haunches dropped
He tripped and then flopped
And looked up at me and said **** **!
Wow. You guys are very good. I can't compete with quality stuff like this. This is definitely going to some more conjugation.
If you aren't crying at the end of this,
either you have never had a dog
or you shouldn't.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwGnCIdHQH0
(FYI you can skip the ad at 3 seconds)
Sorry to say OG, that with the 'warning' you gave I hesitate to watch the video. I even change channels on some of the ASPCA (which I support) commercials on tv.
On a somewhat related "dog note" (and I'm saying this here as opposed to under another potentially more read string, partially to avoid some of the flak) 'we' walked at Mt. Hood today, after not having been there for quite a while due to the cold, and I want to apologize, on behalf of what I hope is the majority of dog owners/walkers, for the substantial 'evidence' left behind from owners who don't "pick up", thereby giving ALL of us a bad name. I picked up as much as I could, but eventually ran out of bags. As a dog owner it was/is embarrassing to see, and I am sorry that it happens.
At the risk of exposing us to the "flak" you mentioned, and as a golfer and frequent Mt Hood user, I have to say that what you saw was what we were talking about during that debate. No quarrel with responsible dog owners at all. Unfortunately, a whole lot of owners are not responsible, and can't follow the rules intended to make Mt Hood a pleasant place for everybody to enjoy. Dogs are not allowed on the golf course at all, and others - walkers, joggers, etc, are not supposed to be strolling around on the course either, but they do it all the time, despite that there are clearly marked areas where those activities are specifically allowed. If you didn't pay your greens fee, thereby paying for your right to use the golf course, you shouldn't be on the course. Unfortunately, there as never any enforcement done, either of the dog policies, or any other, so the same people who abused the place in the first place go right on doing it, and will continue to do it until they are forced to stop. These people think rules don't apply to them.
No apology (from you, at least) is necessary. I wish everyone was as responsible as you, but clearly they are not, and I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to change.
Give it a try Geezer, it's not THAT bad and you will actually feel better (at least I did).
Just picture Jimmy Stewart talking to Johnny Carsen on the "REAL" Tonight Show about how much a dog becomes, literally, part of the family. You'll tear up, but feel good.
I'm sorry if I left wrong impression.
Thanks OG......the second it started I remembered having seen that before (possibly 'live'!) but I had forgotten it. Thank you for finding/posting it.
...and Fossil, your comments and concerns are of course valid, and apparently unfortunately true. The "flak" I was referring to is the standard "All dog owners suck and should be shot", that I have seen on other dog-related strings.
Gotcha. I try very hard not to pay much attention to comments like that - anyone who would say something so stupid is not anyone I'd listen to anyway.
Now, to get back on the lighter side of our conversations...
Geezer, when "you two" are on your way to the Hood, at what point during the drive does she start realizing where you're going? Going up Upham? After turning onto Slayton? Not until the parking lot? Somewhere else?
And did she display any emotion that day when the parking was full so you couldn't go?
I almost hate to relate this, because I fear that people will think that I'M nuts [:-)], but dogs are a hell of a lot smarter than we give them credit for.
Other than the two "neighborhood routes" that we walk (and her being one of those 'out front' dogs on her leash, she knows and takes all the turns before I get there) we have 5 or six other places where we walk, and she recognizes all of them a good 1/2 mile before we get there (can tell by the almost silent whines) so on the trip to the Hood route, the whines start turning onto Waverly off Upham. For the 5 or 6 relatives homes that we drive to for visits, the 'more excited' whines start a good mile from there homes, amazing.
Even more fascinating to me was the second time (after my wife passed away) that we went to visit my cousin in Ocean Park, ME. She had only been there once before, over a YEAR earlier, but the whines started as we turned onto the street before the street the cottage is on.
After 8 years now, there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't do something that either amazes me or makes me laugh. I know I sound crazy, and it's probably true (and that's fine!), but I'd be lost without her!
I know exactly what you mean, Geezer, and I'm starting to look around as I will be in the market for a puppy this summer, I hope. I've narrowed it down to a Beagle (had one as a kid) a Black Lab (also had as a kid until she was stolen) or Golden Retriever (always liked them). If you have any guidance on these or your little girl's breed, for that matter, I'd be interested in any advice you might have.
Oh, and a little story about the Beagle. She used to absolutely freak out whenever my Mom would drive us up Main St. (across from Pine Banks) to the Veterinarian on the right side as you leave Melrose. She (knew that meant "shots were coming" next and would actually try to escape as the car door was opened in the Vet's parking lot.
That's for sure OG. When I park anywhere within two blocks of the Melrose Animal Clinic, I have to carry her to where we're going, as she won't even think of walking in the direction of the Vet, and ya can't 'drag `em'.
I also hadn't had a dog since childhood, and never thought I would, but haven't regretted it for a second (except for, as George Carlin said, that pets are a tragedy waiting to happen, but I try not to even think about that, my plan is for both of us to "go" on the same day!).
Would be happy to discuss 'breeds' with you, but would be hard to beat any of the 3 you're currently thinking about. Although I sometimes feel "guilty" about going to a breeder, as opposed to a rescue, you do have to consider health issues. A good online site with a lot of information, is dogchannel.com.
Thanks for the info Geezer. I'll check out Dogchannel.com And I may came back with some questions/advice later.
Thanks again.
OG
I've had several breeds over the years, but the chocolate lab I've got now is the best I ever had. He's getting way up there now - 14, so he's coming to the end of the line soon, and if I get another that's what it will be.
Oh yes, Fossil. I overlooked the chocolate lab! That is one handsome dog.
Can you tell me? Did you get yours thru a private breeder? I'm really leery about these franchise stores like Pet-Stop or Pet Shop or whatever the name is I see on TV. Sounds like you got a good dog, no hip issues,so just curious if you went the private route.
Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the Black, Brown and Yellow Lab's all the same dog? In other words, you could breed two Black Labs and wind up getting Blacks, Browns and Yellows in the same litter. That's what I've heard on the internet....so it must be true, right?
I think I will go for the Brown, if I can find one.
Yes, I got him from a private breeder. The puppy mills that supply the other places are a disgrace.
My understanding is that you can get any of the three colors from any litter. It just depends on what gene pops up in each pup. The English type has somewhat shorter legs and thicker bodies, while the American type is a little lankier and thinner. There is a silver-ish variant that has been seen recently, but that probably came about as an unintentional cross with another breed. They have a gene that's not present in brown, black or yellow.
I've had all three, but my favorite is the chocolate, although it may just be because of his individual personality. He is the most eager to please dog I've ever had.
I also like golden retrievers and irish setters too, but I'll probably get another chocolate. As I said he's 14 and I see signs that he's starting to struggle a little. One other thing - his feet have always been very sensitive to road salt. I don't know if that's just him, or is common for the breed.
I didn't want to sound like an "elitist" (regarding breeders) but Fossil is absolutely correct. I had a friend who worked at the pet store that used to abut Stop N Shop (another whole story, you don't want to know about a pet store sharing a common wall with a food store, lol) and he once told me NEVER to buy a dog from a pet store.
Thanks for clarifying that Geezer. That was very helpful. Now to both of you, pardon me if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong but this might be an idea to consider.
With your dog getting on in years, have you considered getting a puppy now, before the inevitable happens? My Grandparents always did that and they found it accomplished two things.
#1 The older dog really responded to his new "little brother". It increased his level of activity by trying to keep up with the little one and sometimes, if older one was too tired he would just let the little one climb all over him and snuggle like puppies do.
#2 When the inevitable does happen, it will be sad. It always is. But there will be two of you going though the sadness, you and "Little Brother". And I have seen a few people decide not to get another companion because losing the first one was very hard. They spent the rest of their lives alone. And that is sad.
Just something to think about.
Obviously good advice OG, and I appreciate it. I think it's a great idea, that would work very well for most people/pups. If I told you, however, why I don't think it's something that I could do, you'd KNOW I'm as wacky as you probably already think I am. [:-)]
Nah... I understand completely Geezer.
I have a story about a 13 year old talking Parakeet that I won't go into right now.
Oh, Heck... Let's just say he was one cool dude, loved a sip of beer from time to time, had a great vocabulary and loved watching football.
And could never be "Replaced".
Yikes..............I must have 'wandered off' for a bit, but fortunately I found my way back safe and sound.
Darn senior moments!
Oh, thank goodness. Now, just remember Geezer.
Whenever you go over to the Dark Side, if they offer you a drink make sure it's carbonated. This is very important information! Kool-Ade never has bubbles.
Thanks for the advice, I'll try to remember that should it ever happen again.
I will say that the people 'there' do seem pretty nice, but it was hard to tell for sure because they also appeared to be very angry.
Oh well, it was a fun place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there!
OG, I may do exactly that. I had some reservations at first, because it's likely a new pup will outlive me, but one of my kids agreed to "adopt" him if/when that happens.
Good for you Fossil. Speaking for myself, I have no intention of "moving on" while living as a lonely old guy in an empty house so I'll be using the same method including the "Adoption by Relative" part. Good idea, thanks for that tip.
I haven't trained a dog since I was 12 or 13 and THAT is the part I'm looking forward to the most.
I'm down to the following choices.
========================================
Beagle
Pro's = Lap Dog, had one before, loves to communicate
Cons = Hates to swim, loves to communicate (in a hounds familiar howl), must be careful of taking off the leash or he'll catch a scent and be gone in a second.
=========================================
Lab (Chocolate, then Yellow, then Black) but color's not that important to me
Pro's - Loves to swim, most favored US dog, easily exercised (just throw something and watch him run). He chases the ball, not me, Number one job in life is to please.
Cons - Not a lap dog? Or is he?
==========================================
Actually, they're the world's biggest lap dog! They're incredibly affectionate and will sit with their head in your lap for hours. Mine loves having his back over his hips squeezed, like a massage.
Gotta agree with the Lab choice. Mine turned 12 yesterday and she's a love. Of course you can't leave her alone in the kitchen with ANY sort of food within reach, but you might say the same for everyone else in the family.
Gee Willikers!
Am I the only old person left in Melrose who does NOT have a Lab? This happens to me all the time. Remember when Bell Bottoms made the scene? Yup, missed it completely.
Oh, one last question... have any of you Lab owners seen the video of the Lab that retrieves a beer from inside the Fridge (a bottle no less) and carries it to his owner who's sitting in the living room watching football?
Now that's some serious training! And the Command? "Beer Me".
If you can teach them to talk;
http://blog.theanimalrescuesite.com/these-dogs-really-know-how-to-speak/?utm_source=social&utm_medium=arsfan&utm_campaign=these-dogs-really-know-how-to-speak&utm_term=20140310
then you certainly ought to be able to teach them to get a beer!
Now that was cool... by the way, are we supposed to say "cool" anymore?... is that In or is it Out? And before you try it Geezer, I know that "Groovie" is no longer "cool".
OK, so let's get back to the video, how about the focus on all of the dogs faces? Man, you could tell they were really, really trying to say human words, that got them thank-you hugs (or maybe just a cookie). That was a really groovie video!
And as a special treat, here's "Beer Me" the Yellow Lab, fully in charge of the refrigerator...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W02C75-adA
"Far out". I will admit I was getting nervous that she wasn't going to close the fridge!
Well, of course Geezer. Ya leave the door open, there's no tellin' what might stick it's head into your food.
And it did look like she really enjoyed doing the Close the Door part. Sounded like a running leap with a thud!
It was called Jerry Jingles, not Howard Johnsons
Sorry - before it was Jerry Jingle it was a Howard Johnson.
Glad to see you're around and kickin` Fossil (and you are of course correct about HJ!).
Stay safe and well!
HoJo's. Taking a ride on the wayback machine, Bullwinkle. Boris and Natasha say hi.
Did the same in Woburn
Ahhh, Walkers! So many awesome flavors! We used to ride bikes from Woburn to check flavor of the week. My dad used to go get water from the spring weekly. Wasn’t Jerry Jingles near there? Also wasn’t there a road off the Fellsway, maybe in Ssugus, that all the houses participated in best Xmas lighting displays? We used to take my 1969 Ford Torino Cobra there late at night. After smoking a couple of joints, we went down the road really fast, enjoying the light show. Thought it reminded us of toward the end of 2001 Space Odyssey. Only could do it 2-3 times before the people woke up and call cops. Time to boogie outta there!
Hey!!!!!! Glad to see you're still "fossilizing" out there. Been a while!
Melrose's 'online communications' have lately become so politicized that it's difficult to have even a civil back and forth discussion, to the point that it's simply not worth it. A shame, but hopefully, eventually, both "sides" will calm down.
Nice to "see you" here again, and hoping you and your family have a great holiday season.